She is 18 months old today.

She's been with us for a little over 8 months. Sometimes it seems like we've been together forever; and sometimes it seems like just yesterday, that I sat on a hotel bed feeding my daughter her first bottle---- heart pounding---- head spinning---- emotions reeling. That day is etched in my heart with a butterfly wielding chisel, and I still feel all giddy and light headed remembering it. I think I always will.

I am enamored of her. I am in love with her, from the top of her head, to the tips of her chubby little toes.

I am her mother.

People always say that once you hold your child, you'll forget what it felt like to wait.....to crave motherhood, to grit your teeth against the empty feeling in your gut.

Those feelings have certainly faded somewhat; but I havent forgotten. I dont want to forget. I dont want to EVER forget. Because I dont want to take one second, of one minute, of one day for granted. To allow myself to forget the ache, would surely diminish the joy; and to lose sight of the joy, would be an insult to God, and to her, and to myself.

She holds more grace, and beauty, and grit, and wonder, in her little chest, than anyone I've ever known, and my life has been enriched a million fold by her love.

Happy 18 Month Birthday, my beautiful baby daughter

you hold my heart in your tiny hand