Of all the rights of women.....

Hurry Up and Wait..........................The paper chase mantra.

Today is exactly a week to the day since I mailed my dossier to the Chinese Consulate in Houston. I am antsy. I keep thinking that since my 171 came so quickly, maybe the whole process will be "charmed" from here and the authentications will be just as fast.

But woe is me.....The process is what it is.... And I'm reminded that my dossier is no more important than any of the other thousands of people waiting on theirs.

I remember following this thread in the heat of infertility treatment. I kept praying for God to send me a child, and thinking that surely my prayer would be answered(to my satisfaction) since God and I have always been so tight. But then I didn't get (and stay) pregnant. I not only felt angry, but......Irate... Flabbergasted, offended, and in disbelief! But then I wondered why my reproductive problems should hold any more importance to God than someone else's?

Surely there were (and are) multitudes of women out there with empty wombs and empty arms. And if God loves us all equally and without "respect of persons" then perhaps mine was the ultimate arrogance to assume that my ovarian "issues" were more worthy of healing than all the other childless women in the world.

These days, I joyfully thank God(with nearly every breath I take) that I have a daughter waiting on me in China. Maybe, I have come to this path as a logical solution to an illogical problem. Or maybe....... This was God's plan all along. I've had to make peace with not knowing.

At any rate, I send the prayer and hope and longing out to God and all the universe for a speedy DTC (dossier to China) not just for me, but for us ALL.

Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.

------Lin Yutang