LID Heaven

Friends, Relative, and Fellow Adoption travelers:

We have reached yet another adoption milestone, and it is like honey to a bee. Once your dossier arrives in Beijing, you get confirmation of its arrival, and that is exciting.

Then they take anywhere from 1 to 4 weeks to actually log you in "The Book" where you have an actual date to count from. I knew that ours wouldn't be logged in until September because our paperwork didn't arrive until the 29th of August. So this new Log in Date doesn't really change our schedule or make any significant difference in our plans.

But oh my gosh, does it feel GREAT to have that Log in Date.

9/12/05---the magic number

I'm reading a book called Passage to the Heart, published by Families with Children from China, which is a national education and support group. The book features essays by previous China adopters about a variety of topics, and as you might imagine, many of them focus on; How to survive THE WAIT.

Now, I tell myself everyday that I have waited 9 years for a child, whats 6-8 more months?? This sounds logical...reasonable...And oh so mature. I chide myself for my impatience. I try not to hang on every e-mail, every bit of adoption news, and tell myself to put it on the back burner until spring.

I have found this impossible to do. My heart beats to the rhythm of this adoption, and I find it difficult to care about anything else. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME??????" I ask.

And I found the answer in one of the essays. Like the writer, after years of fertility, miscarriage, and adoption disappointments, I too have exhausted my stores of patience, so that months seem like years, and moments like lifetimes.

I have been GENUINELY happy for my friends as they got pregnant and had babies. I have laughed and cried with friends and family through pregnancies and successful adoptions. I have gone to baby showers, hosted baby showers, and made innumerable visits to maternity wards to share the baby blessings of my fertile friends. I have smiled when I wanted to cry, determined to not rob my friends of one moment of their joy by making them feel bad for me. And I am proud of myself for walking that tight rope, swaying this way and that, losing my balance occasionally, but always managing to put one foot in front of the other with as much grace as I could muster.

But now its finally my turn! And I have a right to be happy, excited, hyper-focused, and utterly obsessed.

I'm going to stop wondering if my baby obsession is normal....I'm going to stop fussing at myself for being so impatient. And somehow, I'm going to survive this wait.

You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees or stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

---Max Ehrmann- Desiderata

Purses and Shoes---ooh la la! 

Oh, Baby! look at those sweet threads. 

Girls, I think i'm in over my head. So far, Ive joined a Secret Pal Swap, a Post Card Swap, and 2 Fabric Swaps for use in the 100 good wishes quilt. Woe.....did I really sign myself up to purchase and cut out nearly 100 7 by 7 squares of fabric????

Guess what i'm doing this weekend!

Shopping for oodles and oodles of fabric, so gear up your sewing machines fellow swappers. (and you too,mom. I'm also shopping for fabric for the nursery)

Living vicariously

Yesterday, I met my friend Tricia for coffee. She has a dreamy 3 week (yes, I said week) old baby, Logan, that is just the cuddliest thing going. I snuggled with him for a little over an hour, and it was wonderful. Who needs therapy when you've got that kind of stress relief? It occurred to me that Amelia is quite possibly, just about Logans age right now, and I'll bet she's just as cuddly. I hope she's in foster care or in one of the really good orphanages, so that she gets cuddled. I pray every day that when she cries; someone picks her up and comforts her, that she's warm, dry, and well fed, and that she feels in her soul (even though she doesn't know how to verbalize it) that she is loved.

I have dreamed Amelia into "being", and she is real to me. I have laid claim to her in my heart and she is out there, young and innocent, and vulnerable, like baby Logan, but with an uncertain future, in a country far away.

All that I can do for her at this point is to pray for her safe keeping until I can get there, and cuddle the warm, sweet Logan when my arms feel too empty.

Thanks for sharing your little piece of heaven, Tricia.

Borrowed from Jack....You might be DTC if.....

Ok....this is cute. Borrowed it from someone named Jack in my September DTC Group.

You might be DTC if....................

1. You have stopped stalking the postal carrier.

2. The subject lines of e-mails contain more than 3 !!!!

3. You begin wondering where all this free time came from since you stopped paper chasing

4. You are subscribed to more than 6 E-list adoption groups

5. You begin to practice squatting for the pit stops in China (squat potties)

6. You find yourself stalking the local stores for sales on baby clothes

7. You learn that scrapbook is actually a verb.

8. You start carrying around your 20 lb. bag of rice to get into shape.

9. Your kitchen table is continually cluttered with all your new cyber projects

10. Your know more about your DTC friends than your next door neighbor.

so true, so true!

Referrals are here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, its official! Referrals are rolling in all over the country, and its sooooo exciting to watch!

Congratulations to all of the new parents out there!

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. Its the life in your years.

-----Abraham Lincoln

Amelia's Dad

The other night, Jimmy and I were watching t.v. and a commercial came on that had him ranting and raving. Now, Jimmy doesnt normally pay any attention to commercials AT ALL. And being the red blooded guy he is, as soon as the commercials start, he clicks that remote control like there's no tomorrow. So it was baffling to me to enter the room and encounter his outrage at the t.v. screen.

What was this innocuous advertisement you ask??????

Well, I have no clue about the product they were advertising, but I can tell you that he was incensed because it featured a young girl getting on a bike with a stranger and riding away. The commercial said something about "adventure of the unknown" (the girl was a teenager) and my husband said, "This is going to have little girls thinking its ok to ride away with a stranger!!!!!!!!!!" "Are they crazy????" "Look at the stuff they put on t.v.!!!!!!!!!!" "How are you supposed to keep your daughter safe??????????"

Ding Ding Ding----how lovely to see my husband already thinking like a Dad. Matter of fact, the only thing sweeter than becoming Amelia's mom, is watching this most wonderful man become Amelia's Dad.